fuzzy post-it

ryxchordata:

TW for sexual and emotional manipulation

I know I’m probably forgetting some things but I am too emotionally drained right now I just want to stop working on this

If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask and I don’t mind reblogs

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i’m aware that buyo has already responded to much of this and claimed it is outright factually incorrect

but what gets me most about it is that even taken at face value, it doesn’t make a lot of sense

the story is basically: you and buyo floated the idea of a relationship, he visited, he was an airhead and didn’t interact with you a lot, you had sex with him in the hopes that he would like you, and then you felt really gross about it

i’ve been on both sides of this situation and well

how on earth does this make buyo abusive

he didn’t like lead you on, he didn’t plant the idea that having sex would win his affection, he didn’t guilt or gaslight or force or lure you. you make a good case that he was a bad boyfriend; okay, that sucks, good that you’re no longer with him and found someone who makes you happier.

the closest you come to explicitly blaming him for something is saying he was two years older than you. which honestly confused me when i first read it, because that’s an extremely common age difference (and legal in most places to boot) so it didn’t strike me as even worth mentioning

your story even adjusts course several times trying to make it look worse for you: you go out of your way to call buyo an “okay-at-best” friend but say you were excited at the prospect of a relationship; you said yes, then nervous yes, then not really yes but a nod; you say buyo was mostly worried about himself and back this up with screenshots showing buyo feeling really bad about screwing up his interactions with you because of his own hangups

i have to be very careful here, because i don’t want to endorse victim blaming

but this isn’t a case of “you brought this on yourself by doing something to encourage it”

rather, the story you tell sounds like “you are the person who literally did the thing you now regret”

you tried to substitute sex for emotional fulfillment, and you found out it sucks. how you feel isn’t invalid, but it’s not the fault of the person you had sex with for happening to be there. imo go see a therapist.

meanwhile, you’re violating the extremely sacred and delicate trust people have in stories of abuse. now the next person with a story to tell is at risk of coming under excessive scrutiny, which is not the kind of thing a victim needs to deal with. i don’t even like how much i’ve had to do here to point out how weak this post is.

PS: if you want to keep something private, posting it publicly on the internet is not a good way to go about it