i use italics for a reason

i built a thing that i had a compelling interest in, with no time limits or other artificial constraints, using my own ideas

and i learned a great deal about my field from doing it, because any time i didn’t know how to do something, i could very easily use this personal project as a platform for learning it

and i did this for many years until i finally applied somewhere and impressed them with what i had done and what i could do†, not merely who i had done it for

and they agreed to pay me ludicrously to do more of it for them, because they thought my skill was worth it

what message do you think you’re sending by doing free art for strangers in the hopes that their friends are more generous? do you think that screams “my time and effort and blood and sweat and tears are worth lots of your money”?

or do you think those other clients you’re hoping to be introduced to take your talent for granted and would just as rather pass on you and find some other chump who’ll do it for free, hoping to be introduced to yet more friends?

† (ok also i’m white and appear male and speak english and whatnot and those all certainly help a great deal but they sort of deflate this grandiose story a bit, shh)