fuzzy post-it

samparty:

purplekecleon:

oh by the way, I read back over the thing to remind me of why I should still have burning rage and to really relive the moment, and realized I fucking toned down the extent of our shitty conversation

covering up abusive shit is really gross and i regret not posting this earlier, so here’s the pastebin of the full convo from back then (march 21st)

I seriously can’t believe you’re continuously bringing this up? This happened like what, a year ago? Mike drove me crazy back then too but it’s seriously disgusting seeing you still bringing this up like you want Mike’s entire life to be miserable or something. He realized his mistakes. He’s cried so many times over this, feeling so awful for hurting you and losing something that was really important to him. But I guess its not good enough for you? You still just keep being angry and bringing it up, and I can’t believe people don’t notice how horribly toxic and counterproductive it is.

I’ve actually MET Mike, a few times. He’s actually a NICE GUY and a close friend of mine. His friends and family mean everything to him. He comes off as a little odd, but he has an actual social disorder and is stuck at home all the time, alone. All you have to do is be patient and give him time and understanding.  I understand you tried, but seeing the logs, you didn’t handle things the best way either.

You have every right to be angry with him, I completely understand that. but this public shaming is straight up bullying at this point. He doesn’t even mention you anymore, at least not around me. He just seems like he wants to move on. He’s learned from the experience. Yet you keep holding onto it. You’re even bringing up private things he trusted you with and bringing it out in public! Wtf!

Mike did some things wrong, but how you’re handling this is terrible too. I’ve lost pretty much all respect for you with how you’re handling this. Please just leave Mike alone and let him move on from this, you should definitely move on too. There is literally no point to keep bringing this up anymore.

Has he realized his mistakes, or has he realized that they bit him in the ass?

Did he go to therapy? Did he stop collecting female artists to encourage them to draw his fantasies? Did he apologize or attempt to make amends for a single thing he has done, to a single person he has hurt? Has he actually shown the slightest shred of a sign that he’s learned anything at all?

Of course not. He’s still telling people (including mutual friends) that Mel is “NG”. This past week. Because in Mike’s world, Mel really is the villain—for calling him out on everything he did wrong. She hurt him, which makes her bad. It doesn’t matter that Mike hurt her and a lot of people around her first, because Mike felt bad, and somehow that’s enough.

Mike drove some people away from Mel’s multi-year project and used other people as a source of fanart. (I’m astounded how many people came out of the woodwork with horror stories once he was fired.) Hell, Mike drove several extremely talented but also timid female artists off the Internet entirely because they didn’t want to deal with him. He told twisted stories to get people on his side, to make everyone agree with him on who was in the wrong: anyone but him.

Meanwhile we’ve had mutual friends turn on us in disgust, even right after Mike’s dismissal, because “he’s had enough”. Oh. Poor Mike. His reaction to pain is to cry, so he gets sympathy. Mel’s reaction to pain is to be angry at whatever’s causing her pain, so who gives a shit, right? How disgusting that she would dare try to hold someone accountable for his manipulative actions over the course of years. That’s just not very nice.

I bet he wants to move on, to forget what he was caught doing, so he can get back to doing it with other people with a clean conscience. Funny how the people causing the harm always want to move on before the people they harmed. Gosh, just forget about what I did you already; I sure have!

Of course he’s a “nice guy”. (Just like every other guy to ever do anything cruel.) Mel was friends with him for years, and he had a trusted position in her project, before all this dirt came out. She thought he was a nice guy, too. She defended him, like you’re doing right now.

What makes you think he’ll be any different this time around?