fuzzy post-it

kshadehyaena replied to your post re: lulz:

I’d probably be disappointed/mad too (assuming I don’t care about reference counting) but yelling at them is kinda dickish. So instead I’d be passive-aggressive for a bit instead of trying to change the topic or talking to the others. Or fling peas.

how is being passive-aggressive an improvement! now you’re being a dick and wasting your own time by being passive-aggressive

i know being inconsiderate isn’t something often done on purpose, but it’s kind of weird to suggest that the people who don’t respond considerately are the ones being rude

actually you know maybe this is where mel comes off as abrasive

snapping at someone is inconsiderate, sure, in the sense that it pointedly ignores the person’s feelings. call it “actively” inconsiderate

but forgetting that others at the table have limited time and want to spend it in more fulfilling ways than hearing about taric’s new skin is also inconsiderate, in that it forgets to take someone else into account. call it “passive”.

i suspect a lot of people will merrily let themselves be trampled on forever by passive inconsideration, whether out of politeness, low self-confidence/esteem, giving the benefit of the doubt, or just not wanting to make a fuss. there are all kinds of excuses you can invent for why someone might have forgotten about you. active inconsideration is harder to write off and generally earns some pushback. (as seen here.)

but mel won’t tolerate either. if you claim to be her friend but forget about her in a significant way, you might as well have just slapped her in the face and saved yourself some time.