congratulations!! you have been exclusively selected for this exclusively generous offer of paying me to work on a zillion different things (and then also blog about some of them) for only three easy payments of one-third of however much you want. act now before this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity disappears forever.
some purchase necessary. void where prohibited. not actually exclusive.
at mel’s suggestion i have reworded this to sound less like a gimmick and more like i actually really do wish i could afford to just work on Neat Things full-time