i am confused and baffled and disappointed by this episode. i didn’t hate it, and it wasn’t complete and utter skippable garbage like House Guest and Fusion Cuisine, but i guess that’s not a high bar

like, i don’t know. it seems like it should be a cool and important episode, surely. steven and connie get a little character development, and steven learns to do a new gem thing. but the episode is full of really baffling decisions.

the point of the episode

i feel like i don’t know what it was

the important parts about steven and connie went like this:

1. connie is shy about dancing in front of people.
2. connie and steven dance together.
3. connie and steven fuse and run around a lot.
4. connie and steven have (i would argue) a panic attack when dancing in front of people.
5. connie and steven feel lonely, even though they’re technically two people.
6. connie and steven unfuse, and now connie is okay dancing in front of people, as long as steven is there.

ok. i can follow that. it’s sweet that connie got over her anxiety because of steven. but there wasn’t really a… conclusion? connie danced in front of people, yeah, for the last two seconds of the episode. but her dancing was so overshadowed by the Kevin plot thread that i completely forgot it contradicted what she’d said in the beginning.

i also just don’t get why they were lonely, when they had been having distinct conversations with themselves pretty much all day. plus, in the past, pearl has been concerned that fusions would lose themselves and forget they’re distinct, whereas here connie and steven are sad that they aren’t. am i missing something?

this seems like it should be the main plot, but it feels abandoned and unfinished.

a lot about the episode feels like that: like they ran out of time and just cut out a bit of everything instead of restructuring the story. what’s left is a bit of a jumble.

pretty lady syndrome

the first time through i was positively surprised that sadie also blushed and stammered at stevanni; i thought for sure she would henpeck lars. so, that was nice.

also the DJ guy managed to hold an entire short conversation without falling to pieces.

but honestly it’s pretty fucking sad that my first reaction was to be impressed about either of these things; i expect a beautiful woman to be emphasized as such by turning everyone around her into quivering jelly who are blinded by how pretty she is and also don’t actually talk to her or otherwise interact with her as a human being.

how fucked up is that. that’s how we portray beauty: as something so glaringly important that any other traits you may or may not have become irrelevant.

the only person who really tried to talk to her was the douchebag Kevin. what is the lesson here? beautiful people are intimidating and only assholes can talk to them? cool

there’s also the soft implication that the gems aren’t as beautiful, because they don’t cause this reaction in everyone. i don’t know what that might mean.

anyway it is great that sadie was also flustered by a pretty girl. really.

but you know what would have been way more great

is if stevanni had been a pretty boy and lars had still been flustered by him

of course that will never happen, because boys liking boys might make straight men feel insecure about their masculinity. girls liking girls is fine, though, because straight men can jack off to it.

this probably isn’t the writers’ fault but it pisses me off anyway

kevin

what a fucking asshole

as anyone over the age of 15 probably knows, “dancing” is often used as a euphemism/metaphor for “fucking”. especially when coming out of the mouth of a sleazy teenaged dude.

so here we have said sleazy teenaged dude hitting on the pretty girl, and continuing to do so even after she’s told him no several times

i was absolutely sure at this point that she would totally blow him off and just leave the rave, which she didn’t even enjoy being at any more

but instead she took control of the situation and grabbed him and dragged him to the dance floor

and, ok, i revised my estimate. surely, she is going to completely outclass him until he is so embarrassed that he runs away in shame. that would be a suitable resolution to this plot thread, and fits with the facial expression and snappy oneliner.

but instead they just de-fuse, and kevin leaves because he doesn’t want to fuck (sorry, “dance with”) two little kids. (you may notice that nobody else feels the need to leave hmmm)

the “i’m out” didn’t bother me as much as it did mel. but it struck me as… so strange. it’s a crappy stock joke. even if you don’t find it really gross, it’s not funny. and even then it’s only not-gross if you forget the entire leadup, where he’s been hitting on those two little kids for the last three minutes.

but it gets more confounding, because that was the only conclusion to kevin’s presence. that single bad joke.

so it seems as though the entire ending, where they de-fuse instead of embarrassing kevin, was written in order to preserve that joke

and i don’t understand why? it was so obvious to me that stevanni was leading up to some form of retribution. but that was left implied, as a “might have been”.

and without it, without that promised justice, all we have is a really pushy douchelord of a guy who doesn’t take no for an answer, and a pretty girl who finally gives in and “dances” with him because it’s the only way he might leave her alone

and that is pretty fucked up

i don’t understand what happened here. not just the ending; i don’t understand why kevin is in the episode at all. why does kevin exist? the conflict he introduces is last-minute and overshadows the conflict that was already being built up. the resolution is basically non-existent and is completely fucking toxic. he’s not likeable. he’s not interesting. he contributes nothing. why is he here?

the good

• garnet’s “not for me”
• garnet’s grin
• pearl’s blush
• sadie’s blush tbh

basically i recommend you watch until sadie blushes and then unplug your tv