fuzzy post-it

camikun:

Ok. I didn’t wanted to talk about this again, but this is just too much.

“but i’m going to anyway”

(from Lexyeevee’s blog)

Really? Nice/caring people can’t be abusive/manipulative?

You know that a lot of abusors doesn’t even realize they are abusive? They just think it’s how they are/act and that there’s nothing wrong with it.

For exemple, a lot of guys think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cat-calling girls on the street. Some guys even think it’s a form of “politeness”.

Of course, it’s wrong, but in their minds, it’s right. They don’t realize that maybe girls aren’t feeling comfortable when they do it.

and they are, of course, mistaken.

this is probably a semantic can of worms i shouldn’t have opened, but yes i am somewhat uncomfortable with labelling a person as abusive, or an abuser, when that person was trying in good faith to be the exact opposite.

again, in the context of pengo, you’re basically telling me here that i should avoid people with mental illness or past abuse like the plague — because if i can’t guess how they feel or what they need at any given time, even if they actively try to hide it from me, i am being abusive. is that really the message you want to send?

Also, it’s more than just “accidently making someone feel bad sometimes”. It’s making someone think that no matter what they do/say/feel, it’s wrong. Manipulation is influencing a person in a way that the person will see you as a friend and that said friend is always right and more important than any other friends the person may have. Even more important than yourself.

“i don’t want you to talk about Tricky to me”

“i don’t like when your spending more time with Curly and not me”

Ring any bells?

tricky fucking hated mel, and from her perspective was a clear negative influence on pengo as well. she’d heard about him for months. and now pengo was texting tricky at the convention instead of fucking talking to her. of course she didn’t want to hear about him. do you think she should’ve just let pengo upset her? is that your idea of not being abusive, to quietly accept emotional damage? because to me this sounds like kind of a fucked-up dynamic you’re asking for.

and are you seriously now calling her abusive for wanting to spend any time at all alone with her boyfriend?

this, this is your gold standard for fucking abuse and manipulation? to be upset when one’s boyfriend spends far more time ditching his responsibilities to hang out with some other girl? when that other girl promised to stay out of the way and give them some space in their extremely limited time together?

are you even reading what you’re saying?

the contortions you’re willing to employ to demonize mel are fucking abhorrent.

also:

The guy was scared shitless and about to cry = “microscopic hint of distress”.

Wow… What can i add?

this was, again, referring to “the outlet sparked”

Also, maybe he didn’t call because he didn’t wanted to annoy/disturb PK and the others while they were dinning?And maybe because his phone was dying and he wanted to conserve the phone’s energie as much as possible?Or maybe because he was panicking?

you sure are willing to make up lots of excuses for pengo, while you detach all context from anything i or mel say or do and then call us terrible for it

but i suppose you’re right, here: pengo was a victim of himself, and/or circumstance. glad we could clear that up.

I mean, we can do the same for PK! Like, why didn’t they try to engage a conversation with Pengo while they both were at the selling booth?

MAYBE BECAUSE THEY WERE TRYING TO DO BUSINESS AND WERE SURROUNDED BY TENS OF THOUSANDS OF POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS, WHICH IS NOT THE BEST ENVIRONMENT FOR TALKING OUT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

MAYBE ALSO BECAUSE, AS MENTIONED ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, PENGO WOULD OFTEN BECOME OBVIOUSLY UPSET WHEN MEL BROUGHT UP ANY PROBLEMS — AND HE HAD ALREADY BEEN DRIVING PEOPLE AWAY WITH HIS POOR MOOD

Anyway, i’m done with this.

excellent news!

I’ve read everything, from both sides, and i’ve made up my mind.I completly believe PK about Mike, but for Pengo? No, just no.

what part do you not “believe”? the pages upon pages of logs?

i still don’t know what’s left that would make anyone think mel was abusive here. but you’re done, so i guess i will never know.

By the way, i’m not trying to excuse PK’s behaviors by saying: “They don’t know any better”. What they’re doing is wong and the fact that they don’t want to apologise (except for certain things) or try to make up in any way  is even worse! The way that they put the blame on Pengo for the “fabricated real world crimes” and not on the anons who did it is also really gross.Especialy since Pengo removed those anons when PK “asked” for it.

pengo reblogged it to the audience he had just netted himself. and he did so after he agreed not to bring it up. by the way.